he never said a word about women and cocaine

a lulzy sign i did *way* too much mercenary research back for iron crown/walon vau rping:

is when my brain still autocorrects "executive order" (the government act) to "executive outcomes" (that semi infamous sketchy af paramilittary organization/PMO/mercenary company in south africa in the early 1990's).

anyway if you have a trivia night about mercenaries and their fucked shit take me along i'll make bank for ya :D

three separate thoughts with a variety of connections: 

I.

as i get older, but in the last five years especially, i find myself seeking out one trait in people above all others : integrity.

i like people from many walks of life, backgrounds, thoughts, experiences. (some would probably say i'm too open minded in that regard.)

but consistently, the people i feel the safest with can all be described with that trait. not quick to assume the worst of others. "the lights are on in the brain" to use a line from my dad. thoughtful -- not entirely with logic, but emotionally and timelessly thoughtful as well.

II.

but then, before i looked it up, i asked myself: what do *i* think is the definition of integrity?

after some thought: a consistent (almost stubborn ) trait of approaching every situation with good faith and an equally stubborn tenacity to never take the easy way out in terms of nuance.

upon looking it up and seeing the definitions offered -- "moral values" seems such a mealy-mouthed word -- that in hindsight -- that could mean anything, doesn't it?


III.

fascinating, to me - that i'm becoming rapidly more annoyed with the coercion involved with forced-AI-applications than technically by the fact of it existing to begin with.

i've written before that i feel quite sensitive to coercion for (possibly) unique reasons. i'll allow everyone one free pass (from companies to individuals) of accidentally stepping across boundaries, whether socially or at work, then a polite warning. but i expect that warning to be listened to, or I will act. (boundaries can, and i argue -- must be enforced for a peaceful life. if one's in a situation where boundaries by definition can't be enforced, that feels like a dire personal situation to get out of at all costs. sometimes i feel like people forget that you also can't outsource boundaries -- you can't force other people to do things you want -- but you can remove yourself from the situation.)

outsourcing infrastructure - the engine of boundaries in the digital age -- feels like it's showing its dark side in this particular topic. infrastructure could be a communications program (discord), an operating system (windows), a piece of hardware (phone), or even a third party company (cloudflare).

to me what matters is: can they cut you off from using the infrastructure? if yes, then it's outsourced and compromised. outsourcing boundaries in a tangible context in a great many ways. (the subtle "flip" to me is often shown in 'can they force updates on you' -- because once when that line's crossed, it's infrastructure-as-a-service, and not something owned.)

also outsourcing nuance, it feels like. and i'm not fond of that thought at all.